Fear and Courage

I am scared shitless about moving to CO tomorrow. Shitless. But that fear is what's held me back to this point, and I'm only unhappy when I'm anywhere but there. I can't explain why it has such a hold on me, but I've wanted to go so badly for so long, that it's like the only place where my heart will be happy. It's just where I know I'm meant to be, my destiny if you will. And I know that a location can't fix all of the things that I need to work on in order to be happy, but I'm using this move as the beginning of change and making my life what I want it to be, so I am giving this my all. 200%. I decided 5 days before my 24th birthday that this would be the year of change, and I'm proud of the fact that I'm making the biggest move of my life a month and a half after that decision instead of continuing to put it off and then be depressed about it. I know I'm scared, but I'm also proud of myself because I'm learning much more about courage. This is probably the most courage I've ever had.

I'm scared to be leaving everyone I love so much, but I hope they understand. I know many don't, and I know I can't explain it so they do, but it'll be ok. If we love each other enough, no matter who it is, it will work out and we will stay in each other's lives.

And I know that this has come so fast and suddenly for everyone in my life...at least for those who haven't known about my obsession with CO from day 1. I literally decided to do this, I think three weeks ago. And everything just fell into place like "that". There's no turning back...

At least when I look back, I know that this is something I will never reget. I would regret living in fear and never pursuing my dreams. Life's too short for that...I'm going to go after it all.

This is it!! Wish me luck, and don't leave me. I love you all.